my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
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