Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Holy sore nipples Batman
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
