i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
You brought string cheese to the strip club
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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