its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
