Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
