Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Boobs speak an international language.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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