I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I could make wine with my vomit
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
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