Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
