Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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