we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
