She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I need to calm my uterus...
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
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