You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
