guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Randomize
