having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Randomize
