This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
