I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
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