No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
