people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
