Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
