i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
