Why are handjobs necessary in class?
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
