Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
