and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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