I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Randomize
