so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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