Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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