I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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