It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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