i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
