i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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