you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
