It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
