i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
