its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
