She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Randomize
