OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
