She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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