Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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