i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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