How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
im holly from the hills drunk
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
