Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
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