at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
