i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
