Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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