I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
