you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
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