somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
