hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I just want to make out with him forever
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
