There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
