Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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